More calamari than you can poke a squid at

The world's most giant squid has been dragged up off the bottom of the Antarctic sea floor, while munching on a Patagonian toothfish. (Isn't that the real name for sea bass? And they sell it as sea bass because no one is interested in eating toothfish for dinner?) It's 10 metres long and weighs 450 kg. I wonder if there were any sailors dragged over the side in a flurry of tentacles before they managed to harpoon it.

This is my favourite news story of the week, because I have a soft spot for squid of any type and I just love squid-related stories. I believe that it all stems from multiple childhood viewings of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, the 1954 Disney adaption of Jules Verne, starring James Mason, Peter Lorre (?!) and KIRK DOUGLAS, who actually SINGS. Yes, a 30-year-old singing Kirk Douglas.

Got a whale of a tail to tell you, son

A whale of a tail or two

'Bout the flapping fish and the girl I love

Nights like this with the moon above

Whale of a tail and it's all true, I swear by my tattoo

I also love:

• Ulysses' goons getting eaten by the Kraken



• Davy Jones (Old Squidface) in Pirates 2



• salt-and-pepper calamari



• My squid skirt (or 'squirt') that I made a few years ago



• barbecued baby octopus



• Squid hunting at night



• Watching birds gnaw away at cuttlefish



• Fish markets and seeing the fresh little squiddies all smooth and speckled