The Cupcake Parlour

While visiting Jan Power's Farmers Markets on Saturday, we came across The Cupcake Parlour's stall, where lots of delicious-looking cupcakes were prettily decorated and arrayed on doilies.

Here's their website.
A few thoughts crossed one's mind:

1 These cupcakes are seriously tall. As you can see, a few of them have a fat icing cowpat on top, and then a whole cream-filled biscuit. Others are piled high with Maltesers, Jaffas and whatnot.

2 Some of the icings look like big rainbow poos, the way they're coiled around the cake and piped with a plain tip. The fluted-piped icings look much better.

3 They are really big. Like, big big. At least twice the size of a normal cupcake.
4 I am intriuged, and wish to purchase some for further inspection.

So it seems to be a team effort in the creating of these cupcakes, possibly a husband-wife team or other combination. And they do the creationing in a big commercial kitchen, so I was told. This should have set off the first warning bells. Little did I know... sweet, trusting I.

So we bought five. The Malteser, the Jaffa, the pig face, the yellow frangipani and the chocolate mocha. Safely packed up in a nice white box and transported home carefully. ($3 per cupcake).

When we got home, the cakes were hidden away in preparation for that night's special family dinner. (It reminded me of how the French are always buying desserts from the local patisserie or boulangerie for their special dinners, and how there's not a scrap of guilt involved. Everyone loves finding out where this particular tarte aux fraises or gateau au chocolat came from).
All afternoon we checked on the cakes: not gathering condensation, not wilting, not too dry or too moist. This cold weather makes for perfect cake-preserving conditions.
After dinner, the cakes were arranged on a big glass platter. We carried them ceremoniously to the table, used a shiny knife to cut each one into four (just as well, because they were four BIG quarters, by the way) and shared them out.

Two words: packet mix.

Yes, that's right. These special-looking handmade cupcakes are made from packet mix. No wonder they lasted so well: they could have been made last week for all we knew... The cake density was hardly-aerated, on the dry side, and tasted very much of artificial flavourings. And the icing wasn't much more impressive- the buttercream was made with a vegetable shortening or a non-butter substitute, like the "icing" you find on cakes at the supermarket (heaven forbid!). It left a greasy residue in our mouths, and had that "bottle of chocolate essence" taste.
So, not that I wish to burst anyone's bubble here, but these cakes were seriously disappointing. Yes, I know that corners must be cut to make cakes that taste reasonable when made in advance, and economies must be made with ingredients and flavours etc. in order that the business be financially viable.
HOWEVER. These were really disappointing! One wonders whether one is the only person who demands quality in these situations.
I am of course aware that The Cupcake Parlour is almost-certainly a small family business, probably run by people who aren't bakers by tradition, who are trying to follow a dream or just break out of the mould, and therefore deserve a little more patience and slack than some giant conglomerate-squid commercial cake factory. (There was an article about this career-switching phenomenon in the New York Times: now sadly gone to the purchasable archive section in the sky). But surely if one intends to sell a product full-time and become a full-time producer, that product should be the best it can be?
Doing some pretty decorations on the top-end doesn't take any pressure away from the bottom of the cake, the business-end, the core product. If anything, an attractive decoration means the cake part has to be super-awesome, to balance it out. And preferably made with real ingredients.
The other thing to consider is that perhaps the cupcake-purchasing target market in Brisbane thinks these cakes are great just the way they are, and that I am a sad misguided old purist, livin' in the past, hankerin' for the hot fresh little cupcakes made with actual butter and actual milk that taste fantastic straight out of the oven. This may be. But I stand by my convictions: these cakes may look good, but they taste fairly average indeed... in my humble opinion.

Try them for yourself, though: they are certainly a cute addition to your dessert tray.