German

I want to go to the Black Forest German Cafe-Restaurant at Highgate Hill. A friend told me about it and reckons it is eine meatfest: bratwurst, knackwurst, bierwurst, all the other wursts, Holsteiner schnitzel, sauerkraut...
And apparently with impossibly twee accordionists and violinists wandering about on a weekend evening as well, dressed in lederhosen (and hopefully, those little Robin Hood hats with feathers in the back) or possibly some sort of matching playset made from the green and yellow curtains from Maria's room in The Sound of Music, even though that was technically Austria but no one really cares, just before she does that thing with the "Oh yes you ARE, Captain!" and it's all embarrassing but then her and Gaog (sorry, Georg) get together in the secret woods late at night and the Baroness is all "I just pack my little bags and go back to Vienna, where I belong" and then they do the singing and win the contest and the bit about "No, Rolfe... come away with us!" and then over the mountains and across the border, all happily stomping along even though they are HOMELESS in the MOUNTAINS and how come Maria's hair is so shiny and perfect even though I doubt she brought her Pantene to wash her hair in a babbling mountain brook, or her Sunbeam hairdryer to plug into a nearby and helpful rock.

Or maybe the vibe will be more like Cabaret, and there'll be some Joel Grey-type dressed as Chaplin going "Meine herren und damen, mesdames et messieurs..." and at some point during the evening all the guests will have to get up and do an acappella version of either "Mein Herr" or "Money, Money" ON THEIR OWN and everyone will be either cross-dressers or closet musical-lovers or Liza Minelli impersonators and when we come home afterwards there'll be a German girl with curly hair sitting in the loungeroom going "Bumsen?" to herself. Better pack my huge fake eyelashes.

If only I could think about the restaurant without relating it to a movie... anyway, here's their menu. Meatfest indeed!
I'm getting really excited about this... I wonder if Uncle Max will sign an autograph for me.

In homage, the other night I made pork chops with German mustard, cabbage with caraway seeds and bacon and plain rice. Not very German, but it's on the way there. Might have reached somewhere around Bangladesh, maybe. Next time I'll swap the rice for spatzle, or noodles. Whatever happened to that old bierstein?