Poxy old door

So the front door has totally blown up.

It was always a crappy door. Thin old fibro with laminate on the front, puke-green, double-door (why?? So people could roll their drunken flatmates more easily down the front steps??) and cracking and breaking like all get-out.

Was never designed to be a front door. Was never meant to withstand the ravages of time and weather. Anyway so the mega-winds that we had on Saturday were the last straw for that old door. The laminate tore itself off in long painful strips that are now flapping ominously against what's left of the fibro. The fibro is so thin that it's translucent: a good whack with a fist and the whole damn thing would collapse.
Safety concern, indeed.
More like possession concern for my precious objects that are going to get snaffled in broad daylight when the door packs it in.
They'll just back their burglary van right up to the steps, blow on the door, watch it descend in a cloud of rubble dust, and rub their burglary gloved hands in glee at the wondrous spoils within.

Anyway I have rung the punks and demanded action.